I know it sounds like a silly question, right? But have you ever stopped to think of how much pleasure you are actually denying yourself?
You probably think I’m crazy but the reality is, in a myriad of little and not so little ways, you deny yourself pleasure every day.
When was the last time you actually stopped and smelt the flowers?
Or what about just sitting in the sun gazing at the clouds and seeing what shapes you could make out?
Or stood out in the rain and just felt it wash over you?
Or how about dancing in the rain puddles?
No? Not quite your cup of tea?
When was the last time you were fully present for a meal and savored every mouthful? Not distracted by the television or your smartphone but instead were fully absorbed in the food in front of you.
When was the last time you had a conversation with your darling, gazing deeply into their eyes, hanging on their every word?
You see we tend to rush through our days, barely taking the time to grab something to eat let alone spending time enjoying it. We connect via social media and our smartphones without fully connecting with the person that we are talking to and messages get misinterpreted and then we distance ourselves even more.
Maybe it is time that we disconnected from the outer world and started tuning back into ourselves and discovering what brings us pleasure.Connecting in with our body can look like doing a regular self massage and giving thanks and love to each part of our body as we do so. Or taking the time to have a bath and soak away the cares of the day – add a cup of Epsom salt for a delicious hit of minerals and energetic detox.
I can already hear the clamoring of “I don’t have time for that” but all it really takes is turning off one television show or making a conscious choice to put yourself first.
Pleasure is our natural birthright. We have five senses but barely use them all, in fact the more you tune into all of your senses the more your sixth sense – your intuition- wakes up. Taking the time to pay attention to all of your senses might feel strange at first but it opens up a whole new world of pleasure to you.
Pick just one sense to focus on at a time. I suggest starting with taste. For one day try and be fully present and aware of all the food that goes into your mouth. Close your eyes and just savor all the tastes and flavors in that one spoonful. Notice how the flavors change and deepen as you chew the food and notice how much slower you eat as a result. Did you know it takes 20 minutes for the stomach to register that you are full and yet often we just keep blindly shoveling the food in and then wonder why we feel like we have overeaten. It is because we are eating unconsciously, too busy looking at some screen instead of paying attention to the food before us.
What would it be like if you brought more of your mindfulness and awareness to your sex life? Wouldn’t tuning into all of your senses make love making an even more profoundly pleasurable act? I’m pretty sure it would and don’t you deserve all the pleasure that you can get?
So how much pleasure can you stand and how much more are you going to go looking for?